I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize