i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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