You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
