Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
