found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
