i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
