Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
