what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
