I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
