We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
home. puking in laundry basket.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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