Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
