just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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