I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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