:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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