I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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