i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
