called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
