At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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