Whod you bang
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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