I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
