I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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