i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
