Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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