I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
that's an acceptable place to lick
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
