I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
