Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
