Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
