During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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