On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
accomplished twins. life is a go
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
