I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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