I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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