also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
