hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
