After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
