I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
