super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were trust falling into bushes
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
