guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
