I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i believe in u and ur pee
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
