You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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