Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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