Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
