dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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