I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize