i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
