you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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