I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
