u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
