She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
