do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
