did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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