i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
