until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Gay?
German.
Pity.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
