if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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