Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
