do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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