i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
