I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
