I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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