Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
