I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
either way he was missing a nipple.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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