I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
