Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
