Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
