She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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